Inconvenient Silence at University of the Philippines Los Baños
- shari
- Mar 14, 2020
- 3 min read
...Kaya’t sulitin ang bawat pagkakataon
Kahit pilit aagawin
Ng tadhana ang landas na tatahakin
‘Wag kang matakot
Mundo ay umiikot
Anumang kalabasan ng kinabukasan
Lahat ng bagay may dahilan
[loose translation:
Make the most out of every opportunity
Even when destiny tries to mess with you, don’t be afraid
The world is spinning
No matter what the outcome is
Everything has its reason]
Those are lines from one of my favorite songs, Dahilan by Ben & Ben. It’s a wonderful song that doesn’t talk about answers you seek but accompanies you in the process of finding those answers until you become okay. This has always been a song so close to my heart and you'll know why.
I talked about myself before in my IG post way back 2018 during the debut of Inconvenient Silence at NCCA Gallery, Intramuros, Manila. Not much has changed. Haha. But there are some changes. I try to be more confident and proud of my achievements now. Whenever I get lost or overwhelmed, I try not to panic. All these little changes have made a huge impact on how I live and go about my days.
Before coming to Siargao for a research residency trip, I was burned out. Now I’ll probably create a different blog post about that trip but yeah, I was. People say I achieved a lot, factoring in my age of course. I do believe that as well but I also constantly try to put myself down. I don’t know why. Lol but the point is, I want to thank my friends for telling me otherwise. Thank you for supporting me, making sure that I rest now and then. The relentless stress did get to me. I just wanted to rest for a bit but circumstances have not allowed me. Without my great support system, I don’t know what would have happened. Thank you, family and friends, for believing in me especially when I don’t. Thank you for the little reminders of rest, live life, and love.
If things will go as planned, this is the second to the last run of Inconvenient Silence. But the cause will not end there. I am still aiming to break the deafening silence surrounding mental health by opening up discussions on factors such as social stigma and social inequality in my next project (dissertation). I hope that my works have shed some light on the silence that cripples a significant portion of the human population and will continue to do so. I promise.
Even in the crisis the world is facing right now, mental health is very important. It has already started to affect our mental health— loneliness resulting from isolation (whether by choice or not) and panic caused by unpreparedness among others. We need social change and support from the government.
I would like to quote Shery Mead, the founder of International Peer Support. She said,
As peer support in mental health proliferates, we must be mindful of our intention: social change. … It is about creating dialogues that influence all of our understandings, conversations, and relationships.
Before I end this blog post with a quote from a dear friend I made in Siargao, Bryan Mariano (shout out to Josa Marie Salazar too, I miss you both), I would like to remind everyone to check in with your loved ones, friends or even strangers! You don’t know how much it can make someone’s day. You can also send them random messages of encouragement, love, or anything in general. I was on the verge of another breakdown when a friend of mine (thank you, Grace Atienza) randomly messaged me—
You are loved.
and it helped me get through the week. Be mindful. Communicate and comprehend.
Not because it’s quiet, the environment is peaceful. Not because people are silent, they have peace of mind. Sometimes, quietude is a sign of conflict. And most of the time, those who are muted are being marginalized.
Silence is a contested state. It is a complex crisscrossing situation rather than a flat line of internalization. We should not romanticize silence as something that is pristine, devoid of internal conflict, and a state of inner peace. Exhibitions like that, for me, are a kind of worlding; a gesture of renegotiating and resurfacing narratives on understanding about how different worlds work.
(Bryan Mariano, 2015 & 2020)
All photos are taken by the photographers at UPLB-OICA.
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